and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
