dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize