I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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