normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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