God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
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And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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