is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize