Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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