I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
