; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How does one acquire holy water?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
