I must be too annoying 4 u.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Oh god it's open bar.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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