He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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