so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
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Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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