I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
