I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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