I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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