He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
