I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
