yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
