dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize