Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize