he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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