Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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