I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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