I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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