Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
