Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me. http://tfl.nu/ugtt

Replies (8) Good night (1006) Bad night (1479)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l

Replies (17) Good night (675) Bad night (2082)
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

(416): View more from Ontario

Apparently you chose the latter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour. (416): Apparently you chose the latter. http://tfl.nu/xdpl

Replies (29) Good night (3899) Bad night (822)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/crmc

Replies (30) Good night (3927) Bad night (713)
Favorite
(308): View more from Nebraska

It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v

Replies (18) Good night (1080) Bad night (4753)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume. http://tfl.nu/blds

Replies (47) Good night (3827) Bad night (857)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g

Replies (36) Good night (6962) Bad night (1161)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/2tuo

Replies (15) Good night (1180) Bad night (3718)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay

Replies (14) Good night (3677) Bad night (2042)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!! (412): I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten. http://tfl.nu/bqpb

Replies (14) Good night (3787) Bad night (855)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening. http://tfl.nu/xhys

Replies (6) Good night (1597) Bad night (631)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands. http://tfl.nu/fk2d

Replies (3) Good night (1950) Bad night (564)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms. http://tfl.nu/2jzl

Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (311)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. (215): I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/r8y6

Replies (6) Good night (1644) Bad night (397)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was? http://tfl.nu/87x6

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (203)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard