the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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