We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing