Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
