True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize