Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
