Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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