so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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