So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
