WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
