I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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