My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
