you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
