all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
