Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
