Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
