That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize