he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize