I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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