He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We are all done wearing pants today
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
