I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i barfeds in our rink
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
