i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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