i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I cannot find my penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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