My nipple is on Facebook.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
