I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
where am i from again
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
