Umm I'm too high to move.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
