No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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