How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
