Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
