the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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