hotel room ftw
ugly people sure do ruin things
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
