I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
