Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
