Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
