Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
