I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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