All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
