yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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