I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
