babies were throwing up all over the place
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
