saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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