Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
